Reasons Why George Lucas Should Never Write Dialogue

Much as I love Star Wars, the excellent Dark Horse adaptation of George Lucas's rough draft illustrates wonderfully just how terrible he was at dialogue. You know that scene in Attack of the Clones just as Anakin and Padme are being led out to the arena where Padme professes her love:

Anakin: Don't be afraid.
Padme: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.
Anakin: What are you talking about?
Padme: I love you.
Anakin: You love me? I thought we had decided not to fall in love. That we'd be forced to live a lie and that it would destroy our lives.
Padme: I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly... deeply... love you and before we die I want you to know.

There's a precursor to that:

And then, just a little later:

Dear lord that's clunky dialogue.

Who'd Like A Cocktail? #241

Oh, how things could have been different...

The New Slave Leia?

Sure, go to just about any comic convention and you'll see hordes of cosplayers dressed as slave Leia but I bet you won't find a single Chanteuse Leia.

Just Good Friends

You knew this was going to happen, didn't you? I start reading old Star Wars stories and I'm going to find stuff that - in hindsight - doesn't really tie up with what we know now. Obvious case in point is Luke and Leia's relationship:

"Something more than friends" eh, Luke? How about brother and sister? Or isn't that what you were going for?